Not Being Fine
by FreckledAdvocate
Summary: Modern Day AU. Toph-centric angst. One-sided Tokka, implied Sukka, implied one-sided Kataang, and some really adorable Taang friendship moments. Pretty sad, no bending. Please R&R. :


_Wow, that is a lot longer than it was meant to be. Aww well. I know it's kind of weird, but hey it kinda happened to me a few months ago. I've never written a story so personally specific, but what ever. I'm over it, but it fit well with Toph's character so I put it in. This is modern day, Toph isn't blind, and there's no bending. Please review. :__J__ -FA _

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Toph sat in the passenger's seat of the car, staring out the window. _C'mon. You can do it. Don't cry…_ She closed her eyes for a moment, willing them not to well up with tears. _Strong… like a rock… don't let him make you feel this way. _She swallowed a few times and thankfully the pressure building up just underneath her face receded a bit for the moment. She felt so embarressed. After all she was about a second away from bursting into tears and her mother sat in the driver's seat, completely oblivious.

"How was the party?"

"Fine." She vaguely wondered when she'd gotten so good a lying, but she really didn't want to explain things right now, especially to her mother.

_His hands were on mine, I've wondered for months what that would feel like…_ Then Katara's voice pierced into her mind_, "He kissed her! Sokka just kissed - …"_ Toph closed her eyes again, but opened them quickly and forced the sadness down. She never wore her heart on her sleeve, she could wait until she got home to feel sad. Hopefully she could wait that long.

"You seem quiet. Are you alright?" Her mother waited until they'd walked through the front door, and Toph had put her things down on the kitchen table. "Yea, I'm fine… just… tired." _More lies. I suppose I better smile to make it believable. _It physically hurt to pull up the corners of her mouth, and she sighed on the inside. But her mother bought it and walked away. She didn't really care anyway, that's why Toph had run away so often. Once her mother walked out of the room Toph let the smile fall from her face with enough weight to make it shatter on the floor. She trudged up the stairs to her room and got into her pajamas. Once ready she crawled into bed and switched off the light, but she wouldn't sleep yet.

She sat pretzel legged and stared unseeingly into the blackness of her room, re-living the night and finally allowing herself to feel.

It was 12:00 midnight so it was only five hours ago she'd sat with Aang and the party began. Katara's sweet Sixteen. It was a dance. There were only a few of them. Toph, Aang, Sokka, Suki, Zuko. The whole gang, and about ten other friends Toph recognized from school, but not too big. Only about 15 of them all together. They were in a restraunt, but there was a dance floor, and a band had been playing some old fifties and sixties style music. _Only Katara_, Toph had thought.

Toph had worn pants, she'd been told it wasn't too formal. But when she got there she realized she was the only girl not in a skirt. She remembered pulling on her sleeves and biting her lips. She knew she shouldn't care, and she didn't, but then she'd seen Sokka. He looked so cute in his dress shirt and dress pants. She blushed at her own thoughts. But she knew he wouldn't notice her anyway. That didn't stop her from wishing she'd also worn a skirt... even though she hated skirts...

She'd sat down next to Aang, sighing. "You look really pretty tonight." he said, and she felt her mouth start to curl into a smile. She loved Aang like a brother, and they both knew he didn't like her like that, so the pressure was off. Aang knew who she liked, and she knew that Aang liked Katara. This always made her wonder if it was obvious to everyone else, but apparently not to Sokka and Katara.

"Thanks." she said sincerely, "But I doubt _someone_ here has even looked at me twice." She propped her chin on her hand and looked at Aang, and he gave her a sad smirk. But then an idea seemed to come to him and he stood up, smiling. "C'mere." he said offering his hand to her. "Why?" she asked, but took his hand anyway letting him pull her out of her chair. He didn't answer but pulled her across the dance floor.

He stopped in front of Sokka, who had been dancing next to a couple dancing together. He grabbed Sokka's hand startling him, "Aang what…?"

But then Aang brought his hands together and put Toph's hand in Sokka's. Toph blushed and tried to stop herself from beaming. "Dance." Aang said, beaming himself. "It's fun." Then he winked behind Sokka's back and walked away laughing.

"Hi." Toph said shyly, very aware of Sokka's hand in hers. "Hi he said, blushing a little bit himself. "Uh. So do you wanna…?" Toph began awkwardly, eyeing his other hand. "What? Oh! Sure?" he said and took her other hand as they began to dance.

He seemed kind distracted but Toph didn't care. _He_ was holding _her _hands! _He_ was _dancing _with her! She silently prayed she wasn't blushing or smiling ridiculously like some overexcited girl. They talked pleasantly as they swayed back and forth. She made him smile by joking about how bad at dancing she truly was. And then the song ended.

They separated and Toph walked away, grinning happily. "So?" Aang asked, teasing her.

"Thank you." Toph whispered. "No problem." he'd said placing a hand on her shoulder.

The rest of the party passed normally, except that Toph was a bit happier than usual. But than it all came crashing down around her. Some days she knew Sokka liked Suki, but some days she wasn't so sure. It really put a damper on her mood though when he asked Suki to dance. He hadn't _asked_ Toph to dance, he'd just complied. But even then, there was still hope. Until about ten o'clock.

She'd been talking to Aang and a pretty big group of people. Katara came running over. Posotively beaming. "Oh my Gawd! He finally did it. He kissed her. Sokka kissed Suki!" Everyone in the group immediately smiled. A few people said, "Really!?" and someone went "Finally!" Toph put a fake smile on her face and started screaming inside. She wasn't sure how but she'd managed to mumble, "That's great." But only Aang saw the pain behind her eyes. He was also the only other one not to have a happy outburst, but no one seemed to notice.

The group began to dissipate as people wanted to go crowd and tease the happy couple. "Toph, are you alright?" Aang asked once everyone else was gone. He had the most sympathetic look on his face. Toph was shaking, he'd watched her face go pale, and her knuckles were white. But she just wiped the look of pain off her face and managed a, "Yea. I'm fine." and only Aang knew she was lying. He gave her a hug, feeling empathetically awful for her. She broke out of it after a few seconds though, knowing that if she let herself stay in that hug too long, she'd burst into tears. And she couldn't. Toph was strong. Toph never cried, she couldn't, at least not in public. But the fact of the matter was that she could cry. And she did.

She just waited till she was home, in bed, in the dark. Then she finally dropped the lies. Finally admitted to not being a rock, and finally cried. She put her hands out in front of her and felt his hands on hers as she sat there alone and felt the tears run down her face.


End file.
